The pain we suffer after the death of a love one is not from a visible wound. It’s not a broken arm that needs to be adjusted. It’s not a visible cut that is open and bleeding Open wounds are something many look away from. So, if you can’t splint a broken heart, put a bandage on it, adjust or cast it, what do you do?
The person experiencing this visceral feeling of a broken heart are those grieving the loss of a relationship. Many times, a broken heart is a literal feeling, a heart breaking or broken in two. A wound that no medicine can heal and no bandage can stop the bleeding. It is a physical pain following a physical and emotional loss. I remember when my heart broke in two after Joe died and saying to my mother, “Now I know what a broken heart really feels like”.
Our hearts have to heal and, just like treating a broken arm or a bleeding wound, we need to take steps for the healing to occur. If you leave a broken arm untreated, the arm will be of little use in the future. If you don’t treat an open wound with the appropriate care, it will become infected. So, what is the treatment for a broken heart?
Allow yourself the space and place to grieve and to talk about this normal experience. Grief is painful. If you broke your arm would you sit in silence? Doubtful! Would you believe that time will heal your broken arm? No, absolutely not. Then how can you believe that time will heal your broken heart?
It takes action steps to heal, an opening up and outwardly expressing what you are feeling whether it’s two months, two years or ten years after your loss. Do not discount your grief. Whether it’s a support group, a grief specialist, or a trusted friend, find someone to listen, not just hear what your saying. Express your thoughts and begin to heal by taking action steps. Time alone will not heal a broken heart.