I recently posted in my newsletter about Saturday Night Widows, a group of six women who found each other.
I wasn’t that fortunate. My first experience with the support group was through hospice. The widows in the group were at least twice my age. None of them had any idea about my life as a single parent of four children. It also had been one month since Joe had died. Many widows in the group had more recently lost their husbands and at that time, I could not go back to the pain I had experienced one week after Joe died and relive those horrible painful feelings. Although my wound was still so fresh, there was little that this group could offer me.
I can’t say how important it is to find the right support for where you are on your grief journey. After my attempt at the only support group available to me, I then sought out individual counseling. Again, although my counselor was quite qualified, I found she truly believed in the stages of grief. I wasn’t denying (the so-called first stage) anything. Joe had died, he was gone, I needed to find a way to deal with my grief and the pain of loss.
I knew it was time to move forward, even if just a little bit, and find another way to move through my grief. Traditional therapy was not the answer for me.
After some years as a Grief Specialist, I’ve come to understand that, the way each individual grieves is definitely linked, in part, to their personality. I am a list writer and I love accomplishing tasks. I needed a system, a definitive way to see that I was indeed moving forward while grieving without forgetting Joe. It took me five years after reading every widow written book out there to find a method that, to me, made sense, The Grief Recovery Method.
When looking for support allow yourself, as difficult as it may be, to be the consumer. Shop around and don’t settle for what won’t work for you. If you or someone you know is suffering with a loss, please consider joining my next Grief Recovery session which starts May 7th. Sign-up coming soon.